027 — Chris Templeton Created a Universal Tool to Help You Get More Clarity on What’s Most Important to You

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- Hey busy business people.

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I am here today with another
entrepreneur taking action,

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Chris Templeton.

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He created a universal tool
to help you get more clarity

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on what's most important to you.

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And I'm getting the scoop
today on what it is.

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(upbeat music)

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Okay, so to kick things off,

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like you created this universal model

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or tool that gives you
clarity on what's important.

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Like what made you decide
to take that journey

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and even create that in the first place?

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- Well, I don't think
that initially it was,

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the plan was to do this.

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I mean it wasn't to do this.

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And what happened was I read
a book called the Power of Now

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by Eckert toll all about
being in the moment.

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And he talks about, one of
the things he talks about is

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how great we are at
driving ourselves crazy

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in certain parts of our
lives and see that smile.

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Like I was not smiling.

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I was like, no, no, no, no,
no, that's all out there.

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That's not me.

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But within, within a few minutes
I'm sure I was like oh man,

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it is me.

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And then, you know you
start to look at your life

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and you're like oh my God
there are plenty of places

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where I really do drive myself crazy.

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And so what happened was
being in business on my own,

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working with, you know coworkers
and clients and vendors,

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I just began to play with this idea

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and it just wouldn't leave me alone.

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So the first thing that he talks about,

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one of the first things
he talks about in the book

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is this idea of what's your story

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and we've all heard that.

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But you know what I ended
up doing is coming up with

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three questions to start.

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What's the story I'm telling,

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is it serving me in this moment?

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Like this is the most
important part of the model

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because it gets us past all
the garbage of my background

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and my emotions and blah, blah, blah.

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So is it serving me in the moment?

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And then the third question is

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is there a more,

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assuming it's not serving
you in the moment,

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is there a more authentic
story I can tell?

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And so those ended up
being three questions.

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And you know when you look
at your thinking as stories

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and one of the reasons I choose
stories as my word for that

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and we'll talk about, you know,

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the value of words that work
for you based on who you are

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and your background,

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but I've chose stories
as the idea for think,

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what I'm thinking, what I'm
seeing, the pictures in my head

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because it's inherently editable.

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Like I want people to
think about when they say

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what's the story that they
don't think of it as fact.

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With me?

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- Yep, I like that.

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- So when you start to look
at your thinking as stories,

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basically two kinds, what I'm
telling myself about myself,

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which often are less than pleasant.

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Me driving myself crazy.

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And, and then what I'm,

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the stories I'm telling
about the world around me.

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My relationships with my
coworkers, for business people,

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my vendors, my clients.

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You know there's so
much thinking that we do

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that we have a tendency
without these three questions

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to kind of say, well you
know my thinking is fact,

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and the minute that you
think your thinking is fact,

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and that is that, you're
in a load of trouble.

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Unless it's, unless it's really authentic.

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But if, and even then I think
most people who are thinking

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authentically don't really
look at it that way.

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They're like let me get the whole story.

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Let me make sure that I'm incorporating

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all the different elements
of what I'm thinking about

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so that I'm able to make better decisions.

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And you know what I mean,

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going back to this whole business,

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idea of helping business people,

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the amount of things
that we think are fact

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that just aren't, oh my employees.

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God why don't they understand
what I'm going through?

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Great question.

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Why don't they?

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You know, this vendor misbehaved,

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what am I gonna do about him?

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My client just doesn't seem to get it,

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like all these things.

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And so we have a tendency
to just kind of stop there.

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And that is bad,

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especially if you're in business
trying to make a living.

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Right?

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- Yep.

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- So what happens is in
getting these three questions

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together one of the things
that occurred to me is that

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the second question, what's
the story I'm telling,

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is a binary question.

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It's either, I'm sorry.

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The second question is,

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is this story serving me in this moment?

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And that's binary.

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It's either no it's not, or yes it is.

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So the way that I think of
it is if you took a piece

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of paper, turned it on its side,

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on the top left you wrote question one,

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what's the story I'm telling?

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Question two is, is it
serving me in this moment?

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And from there you draw
a line across the paper.

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And then the last question number three is

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is there a more authentic
story I can tell?

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And so what, from my model
what my perspective is,

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is anything that's above the line,

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thinking stories that doesn't serve you.

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We call that little me land.

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Where, where we let our,
our cranky selves fly.

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And we tend to be very,

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anything above that line is
tends to be very based in fear.

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Matter of fact I don't think
that there's any thinking

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above the line that
isn't triggered by fear.

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And then below the line, love this.

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What do you think the opposite of fear is?

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- Oh man, I kind of
almost wanna say like hope

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or something along those
lines, but I don't know.

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- Well that's a good one.

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And I think that the one that
I read in a dictionary was

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that the opposite of fear is curiosity.

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Think about the difference.

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When we're, when we're above
the line in little me land

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and we're fearful basically
what we wanna do is just

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put it away and think
about as business people,

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how many things we're just like ugh,

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I'll deal with that later.

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I don't want to deal with that.

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And so when you recognize that that story

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about whatever it is, vendor,
employee, client, manager,

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whatever, when I look at that
and say is this serving me?

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And we just seem to know,
like, we just seem to know

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whether it's serving us or not.

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It's not a question we
like to answer because

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up above the line, oh,

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I really would prefer not to look at that.

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But when we look at that and go, oh my God

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it's not serving me in the moment,

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then the question is, what do
I do to bring that thinking,

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that story below the line

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into what I call authentic me land?

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Above the line little me
land, I'm cranky, I'm fearful.

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Below the line, authentic
me land where I am curious,

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I'm hopeful, I'm very solution oriented.

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One of the things that's very
typical above the line is

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I have a problem orientation.

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Oh my God, you can't believe
what I had to deal with today.

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- Constantly putting out fires,

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constantly dealing with problems.

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Reminds me of something
somebody told me yesterday.

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They said that negative
energy is expensive.

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It's like above the line
you're paying a very heavy tax

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on your very limited amount
of energy that you have

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in the day.

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Below the line it's like now,
you know you have the same

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amount of energy but you're using less

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to accomplish your task every
day so you can get more done.

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- And think about it.

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One of, you know one of the
things that I like to do is,

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is kind of juxtapose,

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juxtapose above the line
versus below the line.

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Below the line, when I'm curious,

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when I'm not fear based, ease.

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There's just more, more at ease.

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Above the line is dis-ease.

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And you know, one of the things
we don't talk about enough

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is when we think about our health,

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the thing that we don't
talk about nearly enough is

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all the things that I do above the line

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that make me feel like garbage.

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And though you think those
things we know there's all kinds

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of scientific proof
that when we're thinking

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a lot of negative thoughts and
we're beating ourselves up,

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we are in a place where we
are far more likely to have

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disease hit our body.

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Regardless of, you know, any kind.

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But when you understand that you know,

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you're in a disease full,
lack of ease state up there,

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and that it doesn't serve you.

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That is a great indicator of okay,

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I'm gonna take a step back.

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What can I do to make
this story authentic?

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My employees, why don't they understand?

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I don't know.

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Why haven't I told them
what's going on with me

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as a business owner, that sort of thing.

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Like there's all kinds
of things that we bitch

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and moan about above
the line that it's like

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well wait a minute.

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What, what do I need to do?

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I have a friend that I, a
very good friend of mine,

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who's driving home the
other day, he's a caterer.

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And he said I'm so mad at my employees.

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They really blew it.

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They, I don't understand.

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He's like, then Chris.

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I remember what you said, oh,

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that's my fault that they
don't know what I think

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they should know.

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And, and, you know we have this tendency,

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above the line thinking
as perfect example.

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I should only have to tell you once.

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Oh yeah?

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How's that work for you when
somebody told you once right?

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So these, all these little
things that we say oh my God,

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there's so much that I can
do to create more ease,

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have me more centered and more grounded

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just with these three questions.

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Just taking that time.

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- Yep.

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Now I always think about
it in terms of like

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reducing mental calorie load.

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And it's like as soon as I
thought about it that way

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it impacted literally
everything that I do.

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From like managing myself,

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like in my own personal to-do list.

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You know, if I have something
on there that's big.

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If I break it down into
little steps the night before,

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so that when I sit down in the morning

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and my brain's still tired and sleepy

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and craving that first cup of coffee

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that I reduced the mental
calorie load to go ahead

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and get started.

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It changed how I worked with my staff.

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Like I looked at all of our
processes and I was like hey,

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when a writer sits down
to write a blog article,

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like in content industry example,

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how can we reduce the mental
calorie load for them to have

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to take on that task?

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And I ended up doing things,

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you know, I later learned were,
you know business processes

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and proper delegation and whatever,

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but I just approached it
as how can I you know,

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lessen their mental calorie load?

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Did the same thing around
my house for my kids,

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with like chore charts and
bill plans and systems for,

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you know, grocery shopping.

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'Cause my kids are teens,
pretty much adults and teens.

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But it's like doing those little things

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to reduce mental calorie
load, reduce stress.

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It just, it helps.

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So I thought about it that way.

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- It's a great way to think about it.

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- Literally everything.

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- And think about how
many things, you know,

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one of the things that I think
entrepreneurs struggle with

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the most is they come into business.

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They know what they want to do.

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They're overloaded with
all this other stuff

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and they get stuck in this place of,

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it's just easier if I do it myself right?

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How about adding to your
mental calorie load doing that?

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And so understanding like
the authentic story is

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you know what, that's
something I don't want to do.

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That's something I'm
probably gonna have some time

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that I'm gonna need to take
to help this person know

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how to do it in a way
that really works for me.

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And I'm also gonna listen to
that person about what they

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think will make their job more
effective, more productive,

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all those things.

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So when you think about
the difference between

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I'll just do it myself and
I'm gonna authentically go in,

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I know I need help here.

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This is what I, I know that it's gonna be,

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there's gonna be some tough parts of it,

00:13:00.900 --> 00:13:03.340
but that's worth it in the long run.

00:13:03.340 --> 00:13:04.820
The other thing that you
said that I think is really

00:13:04.820 --> 00:13:07.248
important is this idea
of breaking things down.

00:13:07.248 --> 00:13:09.900
What's the book, Atomic Habits.

00:13:09.900 --> 00:13:13.590
They talk about many little tiny things

00:13:13.590 --> 00:13:18.590
that just aren't these big,
you know when you look at it,

00:13:19.240 --> 00:13:21.960
what's the next steps
versus what's the end point

00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:26.130
I'm trying to get to it makes
things dramatically easier

00:13:26.130 --> 00:13:28.810
and reduces mental calorie load.

00:13:28.810 --> 00:13:29.673
I love that.

00:13:30.813 --> 00:13:32.143
That is such a great, great phrase.

00:13:33.130 --> 00:13:35.410
- Yeah that one's one that
everybody kind of understood.

00:13:35.410 --> 00:13:37.680
So it's like even my managers
inside of my different

00:13:37.680 --> 00:13:40.440
companies and stuff, if I
talk to them about like hey,

00:13:40.440 --> 00:13:42.530
how can we reduce the mental
calorie load for these people?

00:13:42.530 --> 00:13:44.000
Like I feel like they're getting stressed.

00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:45.868
I feel like they're,

00:13:45.868 --> 00:13:47.520
you know it's taking too long
for them to get things done.

00:13:47.520 --> 00:13:49.700
Like something that should
only take an hour or two

00:13:49.700 --> 00:13:51.240
is taking days.

00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:53.170
And you know I love
one thing you said too,

00:13:53.170 --> 00:13:56.290
this whole idea of
entrepreneurs feeling like,

00:13:56.290 --> 00:13:59.069
you know we're the best
one that can do it,

00:13:59.069 --> 00:14:00.420
or it's faster or easier
if we do it ourselves.

00:14:00.420 --> 00:14:01.350
And it's like,

00:14:01.350 --> 00:14:02.930
the biggest thing I tell
'em all the time is like

00:14:02.930 --> 00:14:06.580
that may be true now, but
is that, do you want this,

00:14:06.580 --> 00:14:09.240
how you're living now to be your forever?

00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:10.310
Or do you want it to change?

00:14:10.310 --> 00:14:12.780
Like eventually if your goal
is that it needs to change,

00:14:12.780 --> 00:14:14.660
you could keep putting that off.

00:14:14.660 --> 00:14:15.500
Of course you could.

00:14:15.500 --> 00:14:16.864
Why not?

00:14:16.864 --> 00:14:17.697
Put it off for as long as you can,

00:14:18.585 --> 00:14:19.868
but it's holding you back.

00:14:19.868 --> 00:14:21.310
And we like admire all of
these other people, right?

00:14:21.310 --> 00:14:23.230
We always have these
like other entrepreneurs

00:14:23.230 --> 00:14:24.628
that we wanna be when we grow up.

00:14:24.628 --> 00:14:26.290
And if we look at them,

00:14:26.290 --> 00:14:27.830
do we really think that
they're still writing

00:14:27.830 --> 00:14:28.810
their own blog articles?

00:14:28.810 --> 00:14:30.380
Do we really think that
they're still scheduling

00:14:30.380 --> 00:14:31.213
their own social posts?

00:14:31.213 --> 00:14:32.320
Of course not.

00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:34.590
We know they're not, we
absolutely know they're not.

00:14:34.590 --> 00:14:37.109
So why do we think that
if we wanna be them,

00:14:37.109 --> 00:14:39.460
that that's what we have to do.

00:14:39.460 --> 00:14:42.482
- And the thing, I'm sorry go ahead.

00:14:42.482 --> 00:14:43.913
- No, go ahead.

00:14:44.990 --> 00:14:48.010
- Well the thing that's
so fascinating about that

00:14:48.010 --> 00:14:52.173
is that's all above the
line little me thinking.

00:14:52.173 --> 00:14:55.340
Ugh, you can feel the
weight of it, can't you?

00:14:55.340 --> 00:14:58.013
And when you come below
the line and say okay,

00:14:58.013 --> 00:15:01.320
this is a part of my
business that I really

00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:05.090
would love to turn over to
somebody who loves to do it.

00:15:05.090 --> 00:15:07.800
Who's excited to do it 'cause I'm not.

00:15:07.800 --> 00:15:09.350
And that's okay like we,

00:15:09.350 --> 00:15:11.180
I think the other thing
above the line thing

00:15:11.180 --> 00:15:13.330
is that we should, we
should love to do every part

00:15:13.330 --> 00:15:14.812
of our business.

00:15:14.812 --> 00:15:15.986
Oh please.

00:15:15.986 --> 00:15:17.490
If you think that way.

00:15:17.490 --> 00:15:19.550
- We have to grind, like
you're not a good entrepreneur

00:15:19.550 --> 00:15:21.520
if you don't work 80 hours a week.

00:15:21.520 --> 00:15:23.340
And if you don't know how to do everything

00:15:23.340 --> 00:15:25.372
and like I was talking
to a guy the other day

00:15:25.372 --> 00:15:29.110
that he's teaching himself
how to run like YouTube ads

00:15:29.110 --> 00:15:30.460
and Google ads.

00:15:30.460 --> 00:15:31.293
And I was like why?

00:15:31.293 --> 00:15:33.230
He goes well I'm gonna hire
somebody eventually to do it.

00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:36.370
And I wanna know how, like, why?

00:15:36.370 --> 00:15:37.520
You're gonna hire someone.

00:15:37.520 --> 00:15:38.353
Why do you want,

00:15:38.353 --> 00:15:40.386
he's like I just like learning
things and I'm like, okay.

00:15:40.386 --> 00:15:42.510
But is learning that particular thing

00:15:42.510 --> 00:15:44.260
gonna help your business?

00:15:44.260 --> 00:15:45.950
- Well and not only that.
- Talk to them.

00:15:45.950 --> 00:15:47.690
It's like put the energy
into learning how to hire,

00:15:47.690 --> 00:15:50.200
put the energy into learning
how to choose the right person

00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:51.380
for the job and to making sure that you,

00:15:51.380 --> 00:15:53.783
like that's, there's so much
energy that goes into that,

00:15:53.783 --> 00:15:55.750
that I think people don't realize.

00:15:55.750 --> 00:15:58.324
Like we kind of know it
which is why we put it off.

00:15:58.324 --> 00:16:00.670
But like we don't think about,

00:16:00.670 --> 00:16:03.440
we don't have to learn
how to do this thing.

00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:05.580
We can put, you know that
same energy into learning

00:16:05.580 --> 00:16:07.260
how to hire a person,

00:16:07.260 --> 00:16:09.700
the right person and learn
how to communicate with them

00:16:09.700 --> 00:16:11.410
and work with them so they
can do it the way we want.

00:16:11.410 --> 00:16:15.520
- And use that as our first
test of working with somebody.

00:16:15.520 --> 00:16:18.624
Explain to me how this
works in a way that may,

00:16:18.624 --> 00:16:19.864
that I can understand.

00:16:19.864 --> 00:16:20.697
You know I always talk about

00:16:22.852 --> 00:16:24.300
I've spent most of my
career in online marketing

00:16:24.300 --> 00:16:26.690
and you know, I always
say to my clients look,

00:16:26.690 --> 00:16:29.240
I want to help you to
make an informed decision.

00:16:29.240 --> 00:16:32.070
I want you to feel good
about what you're doing.

00:16:32.070 --> 00:16:35.280
And man, talk about relaxing people.

00:16:35.280 --> 00:16:36.243
And the same thing.

00:16:37.229 --> 00:16:38.062
Same thing goes with hiring a vendor

00:16:38.062 --> 00:16:39.150
to do something like that.

00:16:39.150 --> 00:16:40.457
So yeah.

00:16:40.457 --> 00:16:42.827
- Hiring an employee or, you know,

00:16:42.827 --> 00:16:45.826
and like leveling up an employee

00:16:45.826 --> 00:16:47.230
and giving them more responsibility.

00:16:47.230 --> 00:16:49.310
And I think most people once
they've done it once or twice,

00:16:49.310 --> 00:16:50.760
and they've had a good experience with it,

00:16:50.760 --> 00:16:52.010
there's no going back.

00:16:52.010 --> 00:16:53.640
That's when they start really scaling.

00:16:53.640 --> 00:16:55.360
I mean I had that same experience myself.

00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:58.028
Like I put somebody in
charge over at Content Ninjas

00:16:58.028 --> 00:17:00.040
and she owned it.

00:17:00.040 --> 00:17:03.350
She stepped into that role
and she was like on day one,

00:17:03.350 --> 00:17:05.440
Christina these are some things
we need to do differently.

00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:09.127
And I'm like, okay, tell
me what you need from me.

00:17:09.127 --> 00:17:11.560
Like I agree because
like that was her thing.

00:17:11.560 --> 00:17:13.030
She owned it.

00:17:13.030 --> 00:17:15.260
She was gonna do a better job
with it than I ever would,

00:17:15.260 --> 00:17:17.224
because that was all she was focused on.

00:17:17.224 --> 00:17:19.470
And she did a much better
job of it than I would,

00:17:19.470 --> 00:17:21.585
still does to this day.

00:17:21.585 --> 00:17:24.441
And you just there's no going
back once you've done that.

00:17:24.441 --> 00:17:25.274
Then you start wanting it more and more.

00:17:25.274 --> 00:17:27.410
Like once you go I guess to
the other side of the line

00:17:27.410 --> 00:17:30.699
in your model it's like you
just don't ever wanna go back.

00:17:30.699 --> 00:17:32.490
- Well why would you?

00:17:32.490 --> 00:17:35.770
And it's not to say that
you can ever be to a place

00:17:35.770 --> 00:17:38.910
where you're never gonna go
above line into little me land,

00:17:38.910 --> 00:17:43.181
but you're more likely to
not get as emotional about it

00:17:43.181 --> 00:17:46.100
and to get as dialed into it.

00:17:46.100 --> 00:17:48.224
And even when you are dialed into it

00:17:48.224 --> 00:17:50.570
and really struggling with something,

00:17:50.570 --> 00:17:53.143
even just knowing that I can, you know,

00:17:54.569 --> 00:17:56.084
thinking about what I do want,

00:17:56.084 --> 00:17:57.744
even though I'm stuck
in this place right now,

00:17:57.744 --> 00:17:59.349
which is okay.

00:17:59.349 --> 00:18:01.080
Like the last thing we
want to do is fight that.

00:18:01.080 --> 00:18:02.680
When we kind of get okay with it

00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:05.580
we can also have our
thinking be below the line,

00:18:05.580 --> 00:18:07.740
even though our emotions
are above the line.

00:18:07.740 --> 00:18:09.220
Does that make sense?

00:18:09.220 --> 00:18:12.399
So I can really frustrated
with somebody and still,

00:18:12.399 --> 00:18:15.660
even though I'm frustrated
and struggling with it,

00:18:15.660 --> 00:18:17.830
still have my thinking
below the line okay.

00:18:17.830 --> 00:18:19.343
I know I'm stuck right here.

00:18:20.204 --> 00:18:21.520
Like that is huge.

00:18:21.520 --> 00:18:23.720
I wanna share a quote with you.

00:18:23.720 --> 00:18:25.900
My favorite quote on
the face of the planet

00:18:25.900 --> 00:18:28.980
is by a guy named Victor Frankel.

00:18:28.980 --> 00:18:32.180
And he was a psychiatrist

00:18:32.180 --> 00:18:35.480
who went into the concentration camp,

00:18:35.480 --> 00:18:37.410
started in World War II,

00:18:37.410 --> 00:18:42.410
and he saw tons of people give up on life.

00:18:42.643 --> 00:18:47.643
And somehow in now in the midst of

00:18:47.710 --> 00:18:50.961
the most deplorable circumstances,

00:18:50.961 --> 00:18:55.961
the worst treatment that
anybody could ever expect,

00:18:56.780 --> 00:19:00.250
he was able to retain meaning in his life.

00:19:00.250 --> 00:19:02.900
As a matter of fact the book that he wrote

00:19:03.924 --> 00:19:07.220
that's very famous is called
Man's Search for Meaning.

00:19:07.220 --> 00:19:10.907
And I read this in Steven Covey's

00:19:10.907 --> 00:19:14.640
Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People years and years ago,

00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:16.890
but it just stuck with me and it's this.

00:19:16.890 --> 00:19:21.250
Between stimulus and
response there's a space.

00:19:21.250 --> 00:19:25.260
In that space is our power
to choose our response.

00:19:25.260 --> 00:19:29.290
And in our response lies
our growth and our freedom.

00:19:29.290 --> 00:19:32.660
And so think about when
you're above the line,

00:19:32.660 --> 00:19:34.570
the space between stimulus

00:19:34.570 --> 00:19:38.660
and response is pretty much non-existent.

00:19:38.660 --> 00:19:42.470
Ugh, there goes Jimmy
again, doing what he does,

00:19:42.470 --> 00:19:43.563
making me crazy.

00:19:44.498 --> 00:19:47.130
Like no space between
stimulus and response.

00:19:47.130 --> 00:19:48.935
But when you ask.

00:19:48.935 --> 00:19:50.580
- Straight to the fight,
flight, or freeze basically.

00:19:50.580 --> 00:19:52.280
- Absolutely, oh absolutely.

00:19:52.280 --> 00:19:57.280
Above the line is very
very tied in a lot of ways

00:19:58.010 --> 00:19:59.460
to fight or flight response.

00:19:59.460 --> 00:20:02.040
Absolutely absolutely, we'll
talk a little bit about.

00:20:02.040 --> 00:20:04.064
- I think people forget the third one

00:20:04.064 --> 00:20:05.242
when they think fight or flight,

00:20:05.242 --> 00:20:06.440
which I feel like happens
to a lot of business owners.

00:20:06.440 --> 00:20:09.310
I mean, it's fight, flight,
or freeze, you know.

00:20:09.310 --> 00:20:11.390
And if you're in that
kind of primal mindset

00:20:11.390 --> 00:20:13.241
where you're just reacting

00:20:13.241 --> 00:20:15.285
and you know responding to problems

00:20:15.285 --> 00:20:17.084
and you're not being proactive,

00:20:17.084 --> 00:20:18.106
that's what's gonna happen.

00:20:18.106 --> 00:20:18.939
Every, like an email will come in.

00:20:18.939 --> 00:20:19.920
You'll just be like, ah,

00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:22.530
you know you'll have that
voicemail from that client.

00:20:22.530 --> 00:20:23.863
Everybody knows the one.

00:20:23.863 --> 00:20:26.630
And you're gonna do one of the three.

00:20:26.630 --> 00:20:28.490
Like, you know, that'll be
that email you don't answer

00:20:28.490 --> 00:20:29.362
for three days.

00:20:29.362 --> 00:20:30.195
- Yep.

00:20:30.195 --> 00:20:32.740
- And it's still sitting there
and it's stressing you out.

00:20:32.740 --> 00:20:34.610
And it's just like you
look at it every time

00:20:34.610 --> 00:20:36.400
you go to your inbox or you
stop going to your inbox.

00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:40.163
Like you can flee and
stop checking your emails.

00:20:41.310 --> 00:20:42.180
I mean, we all have those,

00:20:42.180 --> 00:20:44.324
you know, we all have those moments,

00:20:44.324 --> 00:20:46.060
which is just paralyzing.

00:20:46.060 --> 00:20:47.530
- Yeah and it's a great point.

00:20:47.530 --> 00:20:50.960
I had, I hadn't heard
freeze until just recently,

00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:54.800
like in the last month but
that's totally so much of

00:20:54.800 --> 00:20:56.960
what happens above the line.

00:20:56.960 --> 00:20:59.800
And so anyway if you think about this idea

00:20:59.800 --> 00:21:02.715
of creating space, what's
the story I'm telling, okay.

00:21:02.715 --> 00:21:05.440
Oh, there's a little space.

00:21:05.440 --> 00:21:07.367
Is it serving me in this moment?

00:21:07.367 --> 00:21:09.270
Maybe it's not.

00:21:09.270 --> 00:21:12.643
Is there a more authentic story
I can tell, even more space.

00:21:12.643 --> 00:21:16.980
So go back to your example of
your person that's writing,

00:21:16.980 --> 00:21:18.893
running Content Ninjas for you.

00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:24.200
When I'm above the line, I'm
very fixed in my thinking.

00:21:24.200 --> 00:21:26.420
I'm very black and white,
that sort of thing.

00:21:26.420 --> 00:21:29.660
So you go in say, you know what?

00:21:29.660 --> 00:21:32.432
I really think I need
somebody to handle this.

00:21:32.432 --> 00:21:36.220
And now if I really want to nail this,

00:21:36.220 --> 00:21:40.930
and this is what you've done
is I come below the line.

00:21:40.930 --> 00:21:43.630
I'm open to learning.

00:21:43.630 --> 00:21:46.570
I'm open to the idea of
not having to deal with

00:21:46.570 --> 00:21:50.660
this part of my business on
a day to day detailed basis.

00:21:50.660 --> 00:21:52.820
And if I'm really good at it,

00:21:52.820 --> 00:21:57.080
I'm also super open to
hearing what that person says.

00:21:57.080 --> 00:21:58.880
And so when you think one of the things

00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:00.323
that I think is that,

00:22:01.248 --> 00:22:02.780
that business people miss a lot

00:22:02.780 --> 00:22:04.890
and I mean we hear it all the time.

00:22:04.890 --> 00:22:09.890
But when you think about
what a primary focus for

00:22:09.950 --> 00:22:14.950
a business person is is to
create space below that line

00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:17.920
for everybody you work with.

00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:21.390
Doesn't mean that they
won't go up above the line.

00:22:21.390 --> 00:22:24.929
But when I create a space
where they trust me,

00:22:24.929 --> 00:22:27.600
they know that, you know one
of the things that I love

00:22:27.600 --> 00:22:28.440
is accountability.

00:22:28.440 --> 00:22:30.420
You know people are
like, oh, accountability,

00:22:30.420 --> 00:22:32.680
that's the above line version of it.

00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:35.230
But the below the line
version of it is hey dude,

00:22:35.230 --> 00:22:36.650
I'm here to help you.

00:22:36.650 --> 00:22:38.183
I'm gonna ask you questions.

00:22:39.186 --> 00:22:40.666
Some of 'em may make you uncomfortable,

00:22:40.666 --> 00:22:43.120
but it's all because I'm here

00:22:43.120 --> 00:22:46.663
to have this be as good
for you as it can be.

00:22:46.663 --> 00:22:47.720
And as good for me as it can be.

00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:50.440
What, I've never had a
manager say that to me.

00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:52.760
Well, you're gonna hear
it a lot 'cause it,

00:22:52.760 --> 00:22:55.160
it's not gonna take just one time for you

00:22:55.160 --> 00:22:56.070
to kind of figure this out.

00:22:56.070 --> 00:22:58.440
And think about how many
people you've worked with

00:22:58.440 --> 00:23:00.420
that to get them to a place where

00:23:00.420 --> 00:23:01.950
they're not nervous around you

00:23:01.950 --> 00:23:04.450
and they don't feel like
they're being judged.

00:23:04.450 --> 00:23:08.510
Like we have all this baggage of employees

00:23:08.510 --> 00:23:11.150
that we need to really be cognizant of.

00:23:11.150 --> 00:23:12.930
And the beauty of this model,

00:23:12.930 --> 00:23:15.920
of the model is it's very prescriptive.

00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:19.760
Like when I understand
that this is how I work

00:23:19.760 --> 00:23:22.750
and this is how everybody else works,

00:23:22.750 --> 00:23:27.500
then I understand that my goal
as a leader is to get people

00:23:27.500 --> 00:23:32.500
below that line where we're
all working on the same page,

00:23:32.790 --> 00:23:35.860
we're comfortable, we're
at ease with each other.

00:23:35.860 --> 00:23:39.180
We feel grounded, we're
curious about what we can do.

00:23:39.180 --> 00:23:41.787
We're not afraid to make mistakes.

00:23:41.787 --> 00:23:44.805
Like that is a tall
damn order that I think,

00:23:44.805 --> 00:23:47.920
I don't know 60% of managers

00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:51.060
and business owners just completely miss.

00:23:51.060 --> 00:23:54.240
I mean I've got clients that
think that their employees

00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:56.560
are just a nightmare
and a pain in the butt.

00:23:56.560 --> 00:23:59.509
And guess what, if that's what you think,

00:23:59.509 --> 00:24:01.807
it's not gonna change on its own?

00:24:01.807 --> 00:24:02.640
You know?

00:24:04.066 --> 00:24:06.560
- I feel like that's something
that's so hard for, you know,

00:24:06.560 --> 00:24:09.060
business owners to adopt sometimes

00:24:09.060 --> 00:24:11.374
is like if there's a mistake
in the company it's my mistake.

00:24:11.374 --> 00:24:14.220
It's like once I learned to adopt that,

00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:16.640
it did a lot of things for my employees.

00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:18.790
I mean, A, it gave them
freedom to make mistakes.

00:24:18.790 --> 00:24:21.670
It gave them freedom
to talk to our clients

00:24:21.670 --> 00:24:23.900
and not have to feel like oh
my God I'm gonna screw this up.

00:24:23.900 --> 00:24:26.520
And they're gonna like,
okay, so you screw it up.

00:24:26.520 --> 00:24:28.366
It's okay, I'll step in and fix it.

00:24:28.366 --> 00:24:30.024
It's okay, it's my mistake.

00:24:30.024 --> 00:24:31.560
I'll handle it.

00:24:31.560 --> 00:24:33.620
Like, so don't be afraid you know.

00:24:33.620 --> 00:24:36.230
- But also a big piece of handling that

00:24:36.230 --> 00:24:40.080
is helping that person
who's made the mistake

00:24:40.080 --> 00:24:41.300
to deal with it properly.

00:24:41.300 --> 00:24:44.210
Like I had a woman that
used to work for me when,

00:24:44.210 --> 00:24:47.990
before I was an entrepreneur
and she really screwed up

00:24:47.990 --> 00:24:48.823
with my boss.

00:24:48.823 --> 00:24:51.180
I'm like Val, you need to call Frank,

00:24:51.180 --> 00:24:52.610
you need to talk, talk to him.

00:24:52.610 --> 00:24:55.170
You need to apologize for
getting cranky with him

00:24:55.170 --> 00:24:56.580
and he'll be great with it.

00:24:56.580 --> 00:24:57.900
And I got your back.

00:24:57.900 --> 00:25:01.286
Like think of the
difference of that versus

00:25:01.286 --> 00:25:05.050
I'm just gonna step, which is
not suggesting you were doing,

00:25:05.050 --> 00:25:08.300
but we have a tendency to,
oh I'll take care of it.

00:25:08.300 --> 00:25:11.980
Oh my God, that is like the
worst thing you could do.

00:25:11.980 --> 00:25:13.465
- Nah, I do it from that same approach

00:25:13.465 --> 00:25:14.626
that I have your back.

00:25:14.626 --> 00:25:16.240
Like I think I have set that
to every single one of 'em

00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:17.350
when they've had a problem,

00:25:17.350 --> 00:25:19.040
when they've said something
they didn't need to say,

00:25:19.040 --> 00:25:21.284
and I'll be like go ahead
and send them an email.

00:25:21.284 --> 00:25:23.130
It's like if they get
upset about it, it's okay.

00:25:23.130 --> 00:25:24.564
I've got your back.

00:25:24.564 --> 00:25:25.888
Like, I'll make sure like, we'll be okay.

00:25:25.888 --> 00:25:26.721
You know and I've said that phrase

00:25:26.721 --> 00:25:28.326
I don't know how many times.

00:25:28.326 --> 00:25:29.505
As soon as you said that it was like yeah,

00:25:29.505 --> 00:25:30.420
I use that all the time.

00:25:30.420 --> 00:25:32.128
- Yeah.
- You know.

00:25:32.128 --> 00:25:33.430
- And that, and that you know,

00:25:33.430 --> 00:25:35.184
I think that one of the
things we also miss is

00:25:35.184 --> 00:25:37.240
that to be a good leader

00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:39.750
we need to be a really good follower.

00:25:39.750 --> 00:25:42.110
Like I wanna follow your lead.

00:25:42.110 --> 00:25:44.370
And if I think you're
off, I'm gonna tell you,

00:25:44.370 --> 00:25:46.610
I'm gonna give you some
great feedback in a,

00:25:47.726 --> 00:25:49.800
in a way that's not accusatory or cranky

00:25:49.800 --> 00:25:52.840
'cause accountability below
the line is a great thing.

00:25:52.840 --> 00:25:56.040
Like we love, think about
the bosses that you've had

00:25:56.040 --> 00:25:58.720
or the people that you've
worked with that have been open

00:25:58.720 --> 00:25:59.860
and say you know,

00:25:59.860 --> 00:26:02.510
gotta tell you, that's
not really working for me.

00:26:02.510 --> 00:26:05.350
Really great, let's
talk about what that is.

00:26:05.350 --> 00:26:10.350
And so you know being that
person that can follow their,

00:26:11.110 --> 00:26:13.350
their vendors, their clients,

00:26:13.350 --> 00:26:17.000
their employees with what they're thinking

00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:19.870
and really taking the time
to be curious about it.

00:26:19.870 --> 00:26:22.560
It's a game changer in terms
of how we approach business.

00:26:22.560 --> 00:26:25.210
And I can't tell you the
number of people I've seen

00:26:25.210 --> 00:26:29.620
who just, you know, just don't get that.

00:26:29.620 --> 00:26:32.710
And that's one of the things
that was really important to me

00:26:32.710 --> 00:26:34.660
about putting this thing together.

00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:36.890
You asked, you know,
did you intend to, no,

00:26:36.890 --> 00:26:39.720
but once I started going
through this process

00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:41.770
of putting this together,
it had to be super simple.

00:26:41.770 --> 00:26:43.405
It had to be common-sensical.

00:26:43.405 --> 00:26:45.547
No woo woo.

00:26:45.547 --> 00:26:49.392
You know in my model which you can see at

00:26:49.392 --> 00:26:51.190
OhTheStoriesWeTell.com,

00:26:51.190 --> 00:26:53.740
you'll see that there's a place
at the bottom of the model

00:26:53.740 --> 00:26:57.430
where we talk about God
or infinite intelligence

00:26:58.323 --> 00:26:59.463
or whatever you wanna call.

00:27:00.329 --> 00:27:02.406
I also talk about it in
This Little Light of Mine.

00:27:02.406 --> 00:27:04.670
Like we wanna help people, ourselves,

00:27:04.670 --> 00:27:06.670
and to help the people that we work with

00:27:07.689 --> 00:27:08.690
to connect with that more often,

00:27:08.690 --> 00:27:11.380
that kind of inner knowing,
that sort of thing.

00:27:11.380 --> 00:27:15.590
And, and we just blow it
off too often don't we?

00:27:15.590 --> 00:27:18.190
- Yeah, well I think a lot
of these skills are about

00:27:18.190 --> 00:27:20.830
to become a lot more important.

00:27:20.830 --> 00:27:23.287
I mean it's like we're seeing this

00:27:23.287 --> 00:27:24.495
with the great resignation

00:27:24.495 --> 00:27:25.590
I think they're calling it right now,

00:27:25.590 --> 00:27:27.310
where employees are fed up.

00:27:27.310 --> 00:27:29.180
They're tired of being used.

00:27:29.180 --> 00:27:30.970
You know, it's like they want to feel like

00:27:30.970 --> 00:27:32.313
they're a part of something

00:27:32.313 --> 00:27:35.770
and the companies who
are helping them do that,

00:27:35.770 --> 00:27:37.430
they'll retain their employees.

00:27:37.430 --> 00:27:39.204
The ones who are treating
them like cogs in the machine

00:27:39.204 --> 00:27:43.185
on an assembly line,
not so much, you know,

00:27:43.185 --> 00:27:44.887
maybe you're gonna leave.

00:27:44.887 --> 00:27:46.210
- It's gonna be fascinating.

00:27:46.210 --> 00:27:47.490
I think Amazon's gonna
be in a world of hurt

00:27:47.490 --> 00:27:51.260
in not a long time, because
when you think about it,

00:27:51.260 --> 00:27:54.900
their pool of employees at each
of those fulfillment centers

00:27:54.900 --> 00:27:58.260
is pretty, it's, you know,
you gotta be relatively close.

00:27:58.260 --> 00:28:01.391
And their turnover is so huge

00:28:01.391 --> 00:28:03.700
because that's the way people feel.

00:28:03.700 --> 00:28:05.070
They don't feel appreciated.

00:28:05.070 --> 00:28:07.040
They don't feel like they
can go to the bathroom.

00:28:07.040 --> 00:28:09.050
My God, are you kidding me?

00:28:09.050 --> 00:28:12.032
Like, there's all this stuff
and you're right on the money.

00:28:12.032 --> 00:28:15.820
Now more than ever to be in a place

00:28:15.820 --> 00:28:18.540
where you run your
business below the line,

00:28:18.540 --> 00:28:20.760
where you're authentic in who you are

00:28:20.760 --> 00:28:22.800
and how you deal with people.

00:28:22.800 --> 00:28:26.930
That is the most important
thing that people want.

00:28:26.930 --> 00:28:28.750
Especially gen Z.

00:28:28.750 --> 00:28:31.460
I think they're the youngest ones where,

00:28:31.460 --> 00:28:34.070
where they just like
they're all about freedom,

00:28:34.070 --> 00:28:36.380
they're about quality of life.

00:28:36.380 --> 00:28:38.660
And I think going through COVID

00:28:39.689 --> 00:28:42.210
had people do a real
wake up call of oh my God

00:28:42.210 --> 00:28:45.160
I made it through this without some work

00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:47.120
that I was used to having.

00:28:47.120 --> 00:28:48.283
And you know.

00:28:49.201 --> 00:28:50.840
- They got their life back.

00:28:50.840 --> 00:28:52.500
They weren't having to travel.

00:28:52.500 --> 00:28:54.110
They weren't having to like,

00:28:54.110 --> 00:28:56.782
if they needed to go like prep dinner,

00:28:56.782 --> 00:28:58.280
like so many of 'em were saying
they didn't have to eat out

00:28:58.280 --> 00:29:00.010
as much 'cause they could go take a break,

00:29:00.010 --> 00:29:00.910
go to the kitchen,

00:29:01.962 --> 00:29:03.354
throw food in the crock pot
in the middle of the day

00:29:03.354 --> 00:29:04.610
when they wouldn't have been
able to do from the office.

00:29:04.610 --> 00:29:08.460
And I think they realized
all of these little moments

00:29:08.460 --> 00:29:10.890
that added stress that
put them above the line.

00:29:10.890 --> 00:29:13.220
And they went below the line
when they were able to work

00:29:13.220 --> 00:29:14.920
from home if they had the right boss.

00:29:14.920 --> 00:29:17.130
And I've seen some people
doing some of just the craziest

00:29:17.130 --> 00:29:20.240
things with some of those
like keyboard tracking

00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:22.730
and screen recording things

00:29:22.730 --> 00:29:24.750
where they're trying to
micromanage their employees.

00:29:24.750 --> 00:29:26.983
Those are to me, like I cannot imagine.

00:29:26.983 --> 00:29:30.130
It puts me in that same
mindset of the Amazon employees

00:29:30.130 --> 00:29:31.978
being afraid to go to the bathroom like.

00:29:31.978 --> 00:29:32.811
- Right.

00:29:32.811 --> 00:29:35.330
- I can't even fathom if my boss was just

00:29:35.330 --> 00:29:38.860
looking at my screen at like any moment.

00:29:38.860 --> 00:29:40.760
You know, or could turn my
webcam on when they wanted

00:29:40.760 --> 00:29:42.463
or was tracking my every like,

00:29:43.759 --> 00:29:45.280
why would you want to be that way.

00:29:45.280 --> 00:29:47.340
Why would you do it to your employees?

00:29:47.340 --> 00:29:51.860
- Is there any possible
way that a manager could

00:29:51.860 --> 00:29:55.740
authentically put that
kind of a system into place

00:29:55.740 --> 00:29:57.470
that is all above the line thinking.

00:29:57.470 --> 00:30:00.960
You have to have such a lack of trust

00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:03.840
and the thing that's so
amazing to me about this

00:30:03.840 --> 00:30:07.210
is that lack of trust breeds it

00:30:07.210 --> 00:30:10.050
in the rest of the company
or whoever's below you.

00:30:10.050 --> 00:30:12.982
Like you're doing exactly the thing

00:30:12.982 --> 00:30:16.190
that's gonna create more angst

00:30:16.190 --> 00:30:19.000
versus somebody who has
the wherewithal to say,

00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:20.050
you know what?

00:30:20.050 --> 00:30:22.840
I'm not gonna track your,
I would never track.

00:30:22.840 --> 00:30:24.910
I didn't, wouldn't do this with my kids.

00:30:24.910 --> 00:30:28.420
I mean I kept an eye on 'em,
but you know, with an employee,

00:30:28.420 --> 00:30:33.139
I would never do that
because I'm immediately,

00:30:33.139 --> 00:30:34.850
you know, this is one of the things.

00:30:34.850 --> 00:30:36.940
One more concept that I use a lot.

00:30:36.940 --> 00:30:40.140
We talk a lot about, I've
always talked about the ego

00:30:40.140 --> 00:30:43.910
and I say above the line is not the ego,

00:30:43.910 --> 00:30:47.087
it's called the, I call it
the Protector, capital P.

00:30:47.087 --> 00:30:52.087
'Cause I wanna honor him like
we, or her as a case may be.

00:30:53.443 --> 00:30:58.330
And, and that Protector
is always looking at

00:30:58.330 --> 00:31:01.070
the worst case scenarios,
whether it's about us,

00:31:01.070 --> 00:31:02.990
our employees, our customers, our vendors,

00:31:02.990 --> 00:31:04.985
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:31:04.985 --> 00:31:09.985
The role of that Protector
is to keep me cognizant

00:31:11.730 --> 00:31:12.663
of those things.

00:31:13.923 --> 00:31:15.950
And I don't ever want the
Protector to not do that.

00:31:15.950 --> 00:31:17.313
Those are important things.

00:31:18.405 --> 00:31:20.190
It's all the fight or
flight and freeze stuff,

00:31:20.190 --> 00:31:25.190
but I wanna put that Protector in balance.

00:31:25.720 --> 00:31:27.790
And so that's where the authentic story.

00:31:27.790 --> 00:31:29.140
He's always gonna be there.

00:31:30.044 --> 00:31:31.570
But the question is how
loud is he gonna be?

00:31:31.570 --> 00:31:35.640
Oh my employees, you should
have seen what they did today.

00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:37.560
And that's where it stops.

00:31:37.560 --> 00:31:39.800
And now we're stuck in problem land.

00:31:39.800 --> 00:31:42.610
And that's where all
micromanagement comes from.

00:31:42.610 --> 00:31:46.890
It's a, it's about a lack of trust.

00:31:46.890 --> 00:31:48.797
And then breeding that.

00:31:48.797 --> 00:31:50.630
The problem with the Protector is

00:31:50.630 --> 00:31:52.090
he's really good at finding the problems.

00:31:52.090 --> 00:31:56.555
He has no ability to
authentically solve them.

00:31:56.555 --> 00:31:58.290
That's why you have to.

00:31:58.290 --> 00:32:00.570
- Or to stay in his lane probably too

00:32:00.570 --> 00:32:03.000
and deal with the right problems.

00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:05.020
'Cause like when I look at the
people that are so concerned

00:32:05.020 --> 00:32:07.210
about making sure their
employees are like productive

00:32:07.210 --> 00:32:08.690
down to the minute and they're clocked in

00:32:08.690 --> 00:32:10.910
and they're sitting at their
desk like they need to be,

00:32:10.910 --> 00:32:13.800
it's like the real problem
is that you don't know how to

00:32:13.800 --> 00:32:16.350
effectively manage performance.

00:32:16.350 --> 00:32:19.060
You don't know how to
track based on performance.

00:32:19.060 --> 00:32:22.504
You know if one person can get
the job done in four hours,

00:32:22.504 --> 00:32:24.780
then pay them for the full day

00:32:24.780 --> 00:32:26.330
and let 'em leave after four hours.

00:32:26.330 --> 00:32:28.360
Like if the job got done,
what does it matter to you?

00:32:28.360 --> 00:32:30.685
Do you really wanna hire the
person who's gonna take eight?

00:32:30.685 --> 00:32:31.799
Why?

00:32:31.799 --> 00:32:32.910
They're done faster.

00:32:32.910 --> 00:32:34.040
It costs you the same amount of money,

00:32:34.040 --> 00:32:36.830
but they don't effectively
know how to manage performance

00:32:36.830 --> 00:32:38.030
and how to track performance.

00:32:38.030 --> 00:32:40.140
So the Protector's looking
at the wrong thing.

00:32:40.140 --> 00:32:41.428
- Absolutely.

00:32:41.428 --> 00:32:43.164
And that's the thing is
when we start looking at

00:32:43.164 --> 00:32:48.100
what's important to us, it's
not about measuring the hours.

00:32:48.100 --> 00:32:51.670
It's about the resulting
product that my vendor

00:32:51.670 --> 00:32:54.330
or my employee has, has done.

00:32:54.330 --> 00:32:57.682
And so, yeah, maybe that I say gee,

00:32:57.682 --> 00:32:59.910
she's working four hours a day
and getting everything done.

00:32:59.910 --> 00:33:01.310
Maybe she needs a little bit more.

00:33:01.310 --> 00:33:04.310
And maybe Jim over there who
can't seem to get anything done

00:33:04.310 --> 00:33:06.210
in eight hours needs to go.

00:33:06.210 --> 00:33:10.040
Now one of the things that,
when I started my business

00:33:10.040 --> 00:33:12.510
one of the things that I was
adamant about with everybody

00:33:12.510 --> 00:33:14.850
that I brought in was I'd say look,

00:33:14.850 --> 00:33:17.740
I'm here to support you anyway I can

00:33:17.740 --> 00:33:19.050
professionally and personally.

00:33:19.050 --> 00:33:21.668
Most of my employees or most
of my people were contractors

00:33:21.668 --> 00:33:25.850
and I don't know what that
would be, but here's the deal.

00:33:25.850 --> 00:33:28.850
If you're not a fit,

00:33:28.850 --> 00:33:30.860
if I'm feeling like there's a fit problem,

00:33:30.860 --> 00:33:32.780
the first thing I'm gonna
do is I'm gonna come to you

00:33:32.780 --> 00:33:35.310
and we're gonna have a
conversation about what's going on

00:33:35.310 --> 00:33:37.521
and see if we can correct it.

00:33:37.521 --> 00:33:40.630
And then the third
thing that I'm gonna do,

00:33:40.630 --> 00:33:42.840
if we can't correct it
is I'm gonna get you

00:33:42.840 --> 00:33:46.410
outta the organization as
fast as I possibly can.

00:33:46.410 --> 00:33:49.153
'Cause I don't want you unhappy,
I don't want to be unhappy.

00:33:50.321 --> 00:33:53.710
And I don't want everybody that
you work with to be unhappy.

00:33:53.710 --> 00:33:56.281
And I've given that I don't know 25,

00:33:56.281 --> 00:33:57.640
30 times over the years.

00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:00.958
I've never had one person
go wow what a jerk.

00:34:00.958 --> 00:34:04.404
Like everybody is like really?

00:34:04.404 --> 00:34:08.460
So you're saying that
it's more important to you

00:34:08.460 --> 00:34:11.028
to have a healthy organization
than it is to just try

00:34:11.028 --> 00:34:13.990
and please everybody
and keep the employees?

00:34:13.990 --> 00:34:16.190
I went through I think
my first year in 2003,

00:34:16.190 --> 00:34:17.900
we went through about five people

00:34:18.789 --> 00:34:19.622
that we let go very quickly.

00:34:19.622 --> 00:34:23.886
And I'm so proud of that
because the people that stayed

00:34:23.886 --> 00:34:26.707
were like oh thank you Chris,
thank you for doing that.

00:34:26.707 --> 00:34:30.080
- Yeah, and I think that's
something people don't realize

00:34:30.080 --> 00:34:32.430
until they've let go of
that first toxic employee

00:34:32.430 --> 00:34:33.983
or that first toxic client.

00:34:34.985 --> 00:34:36.265
- Oh absolutely.

00:34:36.265 --> 00:34:37.400
- Like you see the relief.

00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:39.240
Like, I mean I have one
client even that we let go

00:34:39.240 --> 00:34:42.070
that like my whole staff
almost cheered when I,

00:34:42.070 --> 00:34:43.720
you know I said, okay, it's done.

00:34:43.720 --> 00:34:44.987
They're gone.

00:34:44.987 --> 00:34:46.184
And they were like, yeah.

00:34:46.184 --> 00:34:48.780
And I mean like the mood just,

00:34:48.780 --> 00:34:50.780
I mean you would've thought
we had a black cloud

00:34:50.780 --> 00:34:52.986
on everybody's head in there

00:34:52.986 --> 00:34:55.784
and the day I let that client
go they were just like, yeah.

00:34:55.784 --> 00:34:57.310
And celebrating, it was just,

00:34:57.310 --> 00:35:00.417
you don't until you do it the first time.

00:35:00.417 --> 00:35:02.060
- Well and that's the thing.

00:35:02.060 --> 00:35:05.310
I mean, you know understanding
that it's a process of growth

00:35:05.310 --> 00:35:08.040
and that we're all kind of
figuring this out together.

00:35:08.040 --> 00:35:11.401
Nobody, I guarantee you
as much as that client

00:35:11.401 --> 00:35:15.986
was a problem, nobody had
any idea of how big a problem

00:35:15.986 --> 00:35:19.250
that client was until they were gone.

00:35:19.250 --> 00:35:20.150
Great learning.

00:35:20.150 --> 00:35:22.440
Like man, you guys we've learned,

00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:24.880
thank you to each of you that

00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:27.740
shared your complaints
about this, this client,

00:35:27.740 --> 00:35:30.170
and why there were a problem
and what we tried to do

00:35:30.170 --> 00:35:32.840
to solve it so that, you know,

00:35:32.840 --> 00:35:36.564
so there's this authentic
way of dealing with things is

00:35:36.564 --> 00:35:40.720
that I feel good about the
process that I went through

00:35:40.720 --> 00:35:42.940
to try and get them on board.

00:35:42.940 --> 00:35:46.990
And then just as good
about letting them go

00:35:46.990 --> 00:35:50.140
for everybody's sake, including theirs.

00:35:50.140 --> 00:35:52.970
Like those people that are just a problem,

00:35:52.970 --> 00:35:55.440
they need to go work with with a company

00:35:55.440 --> 00:35:57.500
that that's how they work.

00:35:57.500 --> 00:35:59.448
Good riddance, thank you so much.

00:35:59.448 --> 00:36:04.086
Happy employees, happy business owner.

00:36:04.086 --> 00:36:07.640
- Well, it's the same with
clients and employees.

00:36:07.640 --> 00:36:09.880
Like if they're not a
good fit as an employee,

00:36:09.880 --> 00:36:11.570
if they're not a good fit as a client,

00:36:11.570 --> 00:36:13.220
they need to be working
with somebody who is,

00:36:13.220 --> 00:36:15.180
because that person's gonna care.

00:36:15.180 --> 00:36:17.320
That person's gonna help
'em and they're gonna grow.

00:36:17.320 --> 00:36:20.122
And just they don't need
to be with you, you know?

00:36:20.122 --> 00:36:22.080
And I make an effort to
try and find other people

00:36:22.080 --> 00:36:23.117
I can refer to,

00:36:23.117 --> 00:36:26.716
but sometimes you just have
to let 'em go, you know?

00:36:26.716 --> 00:36:29.780
- Absolutely, and it serves everybody.

00:36:29.780 --> 00:36:34.780
And so you know, there's
so much as a business owner

00:36:34.840 --> 00:36:37.679
and an entrepreneur that you can do,

00:36:37.679 --> 00:36:39.830
but it's gotta start with yourself, right?

00:36:39.830 --> 00:36:43.515
Like I there's so much that
I can do to make my life

00:36:43.515 --> 00:36:48.293
more centered and more
grounded living below the line.

00:36:49.350 --> 00:36:50.563
But it starts with me.

00:36:51.622 --> 00:36:53.380
Like if I don't have a
recognition of it in myself

00:36:53.380 --> 00:36:58.210
and that I'm the one that's
driving me crazy, excuse me.

00:36:58.210 --> 00:37:00.640
It's not, it's not the employee.

00:37:00.640 --> 00:37:04.920
It's the employee's behavior
but it's my story about them.

00:37:04.920 --> 00:37:08.550
And then being able to
deal with them effectively,

00:37:08.550 --> 00:37:11.186
which is a below the line story.

00:37:11.186 --> 00:37:13.990
Wait what is, what can
I do to help Mary out

00:37:13.990 --> 00:37:15.230
to be more effective?

00:37:15.230 --> 00:37:18.990
And you know, when I look at it that way,

00:37:18.990 --> 00:37:22.870
man leadership is a whole
different ball of wax

00:37:22.870 --> 00:37:24.670
than it is above the line.

00:37:24.670 --> 00:37:25.503
Isn't it?

00:37:25.503 --> 00:37:26.400
And that's what we want.

00:37:27.283 --> 00:37:29.190
That's what everybody's crying out for.

00:37:29.190 --> 00:37:33.730
I mean I've heard for 40
years or more about bad,

00:37:33.730 --> 00:37:35.665
I've heard it all my life.

00:37:35.665 --> 00:37:37.280
Bad management and oh blah, blah, blah.

00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:38.470
It's like well wait a minute.

00:37:38.470 --> 00:37:40.843
What are you doing to solve that problem?

00:37:40.843 --> 00:37:43.940
- Yep, I think there's
so much power to that.

00:37:43.940 --> 00:37:45.747
And I know we've kind of
hinted around a little bit

00:37:45.747 --> 00:37:47.950
and I've kept you for
like 37 minutes here.

00:37:47.950 --> 00:37:50.210
We've hinted around a
little bit about what you do

00:37:50.210 --> 00:37:51.950
and who you work with.

00:37:51.950 --> 00:37:53.910
And we know that you
utilize your superpowers

00:37:53.910 --> 00:37:55.900
to help entrepreneurs
and you have this tool

00:37:55.900 --> 00:37:57.420
and it helps 'em create a company culture.

00:37:57.420 --> 00:37:59.360
Like, do you have any final advice

00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:01.170
or tips that you'd like
to share with our audience

00:38:01.170 --> 00:38:04.180
on how to, you know do things
better as an entrepreneur?

00:38:04.180 --> 00:38:05.403
- Yeah a few things.

00:38:06.385 --> 00:38:10.380
Number one, please please look
at every aspect of your life

00:38:10.380 --> 00:38:11.473
as practice.

00:38:12.566 --> 00:38:15.830
Like take the, take the burden off

00:38:15.830 --> 00:38:19.334
and let yourself make
mistakes, let yourself grow.

00:38:19.334 --> 00:38:22.250
It's all about practice.

00:38:22.250 --> 00:38:26.122
If you frame up your thinking
and your life as practice,

00:38:26.122 --> 00:38:28.010
it's gonna be a whole lot easier.

00:38:28.010 --> 00:38:31.440
And if you share that with
people that you work with,

00:38:31.440 --> 00:38:34.473
look this, we're practicing to be better.

00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:40.460
Oh man, it makes it so much easier.

00:38:40.460 --> 00:38:44.420
Recognize that your clients, your vendors,

00:38:44.420 --> 00:38:49.420
and your employees and
contractors need you to help them

00:38:49.870 --> 00:38:50.983
below the line.

00:38:52.412 --> 00:38:54.241
It's never gonna be an automatic thing.

00:38:54.241 --> 00:38:55.720
Don't expect it just
because you said it once

00:38:55.720 --> 00:38:57.430
everything's gonna fall into place.

00:38:57.430 --> 00:39:01.503
But when you lay down kind of the,

00:39:01.503 --> 00:39:03.910
the structure of what you want

00:39:03.910 --> 00:39:06.707
and that you wanna really
live below this line

00:39:06.707 --> 00:39:09.870
and the beauty is I can
see it in everybody else.

00:39:09.870 --> 00:39:13.340
And the last thing I would
ever do is say, oh, you know,

00:39:13.340 --> 00:39:15.360
Jimmy, you're in little me mode.

00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:17.150
You need to knock that crap off right?

00:39:17.150 --> 00:39:19.890
That doesn't, like dude, are you okay?

00:39:19.890 --> 00:39:21.180
How can I help you?

00:39:21.180 --> 00:39:23.810
Like how can, you seem
like you're really upset

00:39:23.810 --> 00:39:26.186
and having the courage to
ask those kinds of questions

00:39:26.186 --> 00:39:27.510
goes so far.

00:39:27.510 --> 00:39:30.480
So practice is the biggest one.

00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:34.820
As a leader it's all about
getting below that line

00:39:34.820 --> 00:39:37.366
with yourself first.

00:39:37.366 --> 00:39:40.010
And then with everybody that
you work with one at a time.

00:39:40.010 --> 00:39:43.730
Sometimes they're gonna go
above the line and that's okay.

00:39:43.730 --> 00:39:45.205
You can bring them back.

00:39:45.205 --> 00:39:47.086
- I think it's all really good advice.

00:39:47.086 --> 00:39:48.570
Now to kind of wrap everything up today

00:39:48.570 --> 00:39:51.023
like tell us more about you,
like who you like to work with,

00:39:51.023 --> 00:39:54.770
how you help people and
where they can find you.

00:39:54.770 --> 00:39:58.730
- Well, so this is something
that I've started developing

00:39:58.730 --> 00:40:00.560
in 2003 believe it or not.

00:40:00.560 --> 00:40:04.178
So it's been 18 years
and I've got a website at

00:40:04.178 --> 00:40:05.604
OhTheStoriesWeTell.com.

00:40:05.604 --> 00:40:10.410
And you can find, see the full model,

00:40:10.410 --> 00:40:13.583
which we've only kind of
touched on the basics of it.

00:40:13.583 --> 00:40:18.270
You can also reach me if
you are a business owner

00:40:18.270 --> 00:40:21.510
that's struggling with this
and how to kind of implement it

00:40:21.510 --> 00:40:24.520
in your life I would
love to chat with you.

00:40:24.520 --> 00:40:29.520
I am, I will, I do sessions
where I will sit down with you.

00:40:30.222 --> 00:40:34.050
We'll do a recording like
this, you get the recording,

00:40:34.050 --> 00:40:36.810
you get the transcript of the, of the,

00:40:36.810 --> 00:40:38.820
an automated transcript of the meeting.

00:40:38.820 --> 00:40:40.670
And we'll just sit down and talk about

00:40:40.670 --> 00:40:43.060
what are the issues that are bugging you.

00:40:43.060 --> 00:40:46.660
And really what I bring to the
table from that standpoint,

00:40:46.660 --> 00:40:48.380
and I want to just take a step back.

00:40:48.380 --> 00:40:50.700
I'm not a therapist, I'm not a coach.

00:40:50.700 --> 00:40:52.550
I am just a guy with a model that,

00:40:52.550 --> 00:40:56.940
that once you internalize it
you won't need me anymore.

00:40:56.940 --> 00:41:00.970
This is all about finding out
that you have all the answers

00:41:00.970 --> 00:41:02.480
you need in you.

00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:03.700
You may need to go outside,

00:41:03.700 --> 00:41:05.900
but you're gonna be the one
that knows when it's time to go

00:41:05.900 --> 00:41:08.890
outside and get a little extra
help, that sort of thing.

00:41:08.890 --> 00:41:12.620
So this model, once you've
kind of incorporated

00:41:12.620 --> 00:41:13.560
it changes everything.

00:41:13.560 --> 00:41:16.300
It changes how I, for me how I parent.

00:41:16.300 --> 00:41:20.510
The relationship with my wife
is just mind bogglingly good

00:41:20.510 --> 00:41:24.060
because I'm super good at
staying below the line with her.

00:41:24.060 --> 00:41:27.470
And she's now below the
line with me all the time.

00:41:27.470 --> 00:41:29.750
So once you understand
that then it's easy.

00:41:29.750 --> 00:41:32.370
I can help with all of
those things in terms of

00:41:32.370 --> 00:41:34.430
helping you to incorporate this model

00:41:34.430 --> 00:41:37.840
and help you to move thinking
that's not serving you

00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:39.710
above the line and little me land

00:41:39.710 --> 00:41:43.190
into authentic thinking
that does serve you

00:41:43.190 --> 00:41:44.450
and serves the people around you.

00:41:44.450 --> 00:41:46.190
So I'm very happy to do that.

00:41:46.190 --> 00:41:49.970
You can also find me on Facebook
at Oh the Stories We Tell.

00:41:49.970 --> 00:41:54.064
If you search on YouTube
for Oh the Stories We tell

00:41:54.064 --> 00:41:56.880
one of the results will
be a little thought bubble

00:41:56.880 --> 00:41:58.750
with Oh the Stories We Tell written in it.

00:41:58.750 --> 00:42:00.240
And if you click on that,

00:42:00.240 --> 00:42:02.230
that'll take you to my YouTube channel.

00:42:02.230 --> 00:42:05.163
I've got about 20 videos up now.

00:42:05.163 --> 00:42:07.830
And there's an honesty
project that a woman

00:42:07.830 --> 00:42:11.287
and I have been working on
for about almost two years

00:42:11.287 --> 00:42:14.200
where she just talks about
issues that she's dealt with

00:42:14.200 --> 00:42:15.320
over the years.

00:42:15.320 --> 00:42:16.990
A lot of them are business related.

00:42:16.990 --> 00:42:19.080
So it's just a nice way to see that.

00:42:19.080 --> 00:42:21.580
So those are the main
ways to get ahold of me.

00:42:21.580 --> 00:42:26.580
And I would love to help
anybody that's really just stuck

00:42:26.780 --> 00:42:28.464
in little me land

00:42:28.464 --> 00:42:30.624
and is recognizing it's
time to get out of there.

00:42:30.624 --> 00:42:32.120
- That's awesome.

00:42:32.120 --> 00:42:33.540
And I'll make sure that there's links.

00:42:33.540 --> 00:42:35.850
So wherever on the
interwebs you're watching

00:42:35.850 --> 00:42:38.260
this recording at there will
be links to all of those

00:42:38.260 --> 00:42:40.460
resources listed below the video.

00:42:40.460 --> 00:42:42.300
So I'll make sure that's
out there everywhere.

00:42:42.300 --> 00:42:44.940
But thank you so much for
coming on the show today

00:42:44.940 --> 00:42:46.541
and for sharing all of your
expertise with our audience.

00:42:46.541 --> 00:42:48.333
I think there's been a
lot of really great things

00:42:48.333 --> 00:42:49.520
that I hope they learn,

00:42:49.520 --> 00:42:50.470
and I hope they reach out to you for

00:42:50.470 --> 00:42:52.340
'cause I think there's some big things

00:42:52.340 --> 00:42:54.560
that we kind of covered that can be solved

00:42:54.560 --> 00:42:55.980
with simple solutions which I love.

00:42:55.980 --> 00:42:59.517
- Yeah, simple solutions, I love that.

00:43:00.901 --> 00:43:03.800
- Well entrepreneurs, guys this
is your call to take action,

00:43:03.800 --> 00:43:07.030
to join our community at ETAToday.zone

00:43:07.030 --> 00:43:08.290
and learn how to build a business

00:43:08.290 --> 00:43:09.570
that enables your lifestyle

00:43:09.570 --> 00:43:11.200
instead of taking over your life.

00:43:11.200 --> 00:43:12.250
Until next time guys.

00:43:15.299 --> 00:43:17.966
(gentle music)